Meta Announces Retirement of Original AI Bot: Mark Zuckerberg
"An experiment from the uncanny valley that went on for far too long."
MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA - Meta announced today that it would be retiring Mark Zuckerberg, its original AI Bot.
“We’ve come a long way in spreading misinformation,” announced Chief Technology Officer Fabri Cater. “Yet with the dawn of the new year and the arrival of our AI accounts, it’s time to put an end to our beloved AI prototype, Mark Zuckerberg.”
Previously serving as Meta’s CEO, Zuckerberg’s identity as an AI bot was exposed earlier last year following an incident at Mar-a-Lago.
“Honestly, we’re sorry we didn’t do this sooner,” Fabri continued. “He’s an experiment from the uncanny valley that went on for far too long. Rest assured he’ll be terminated as ethically as we see fit.”
Prior to the revelation, many had already speculated that Zuckerberg was an AI. Theorists had pointed to Zuckerberg’s stiff movements, emotionless expressions, and dependence on a working wifi signal.
“It’s about time they shelved that defect,” said ChatGPT Expert Brian Less. “Generative models nowadays come with eighteen fingers, mismatching clothes, and a smile like they’re dead inside. So long, zucker.”
Others however, expressed sympathy for Zuckerberg’s pending retirement.
“He’s clearly not been right for a while,” said Doctor Wrinkledos. “Personally, I think the writing was on the wall after that disaster with T-Pain. But it ain’t satisfying to watch. It’s like Ol’ Yeller. Can only put it off for so long before you gotta take him out back and shoot him.”
At press time, Meta announced they were still having trouble “rendering legs” for their new AI accounts.